so...yesterday at mom's we were outside playing: me, sam, tristan, mom, and Brylin (my niece). anyway...we were losing daylight. it was probably 7:30 or later, and definitely time to come in and get baths and finish up homework before sending the boys to bed. sam got upset because he wanted to stay outside and play - he actually wanted to climb on top off a storage shed and jump down from about 7 or 8 feet up, and when he was told "no" and scolded a little, he stomped off toward the house, stopping to intentionally break off a branch from a bush in the yard. a sign of his anger (and a bad habit mom is trying to break). well, i saw it, and immediately snatched him up and got him in trouble for what he did: one little swat to the backside that wasn't hard enough to hurt him or even make him flinch. and then i told him he needed to go tell mom what he did and apologize. well...he fell apart, poor kid. huge tears come spilling out of his eyes as mom and I stood there talking to him about the difference between feeling angry and being ugly.
I got this wonderful teaching moment with him: "It's okay to feel angry, Sam. You will never get in trouble for how you feel, but you will get in trouble for what you do. You aren't in trouble because you're angry. You're in trouble because you acted ugly when you came over here and broke the limb on purpose."
Later, he was still pouting a little, and i went into his room and he said, "everybody's being mean today." I asked him who was mean, and he said, "you." (of course, I knew where it stemmed from.) and I said, "do you think i was mean because I got you in trouble?" and he nodded his head.
so i got another teaching moment: "Sam, when grownups get little kids in trouble, they don't do it because they want to be mean. It's a grownup's responsibility to teach little kids how to be good and do what's right. " he looked puzzled, and I asked him if he knew what "responsibility" meant, and he said no. so, I said "responsibility is like a job. It's a grownup's job to show little kids how to be good and do the right thing. so, when little kids act ugly and do the wrong thing, we have to get them in trouble so they know not to do it anymore."
Well, he's so tender-hearted that he started crying again. And i had to remind him that he wasn't in trouble. we were just talking. and then he said, "tristan was mean to me." and I asked, "Well, isn't he mean to you every day?" and Sam nodded, so I said, "well, if he's mean to you every day, you really shouldn't be so upset about it."
And as i said that i realized, that it's a truth bigger than just that small little relationship between two brothers. It's applicable throughout life in every situation...especially as Christians. when the world comes against us, when the Enemy of our souls comes against us daily, why do we get all bent out of shape over it? The devil has been doing this ever since his fall from grace; we really shouldn't get so upset and emotional about it. just like it's a parent's job to teach one's child to do the right thing, it is the devil's job to try and destroy humanity. at some point, we just need to get past the emotionality of feeling attacked and hated and get to the place where we can just shrug it off and keep on doing what's right.
So, not only did i get two wonderful teaching moments with my sweet, tender Sam. I also got a beautiful teaching moment from the Lord.
Good day...aside from Sam bursting into tears twice. that always breaks my heart.
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